Far be it from me to say that Tesco falls decidedly below M&S on the supermarket scale, but come the f*** on. Having seen the viral success of Marks’ strawberry and creme sandwich — a riff on Japanese sandos found in petrol stations and the like across Japan — Tesco has decided to get in on the sweet sandwich game. Only, instead of fresh fruit and like cream, they’ve gone for sweet strawberry jam and cream cheese icing, studded with hundreds and thousands. And they’re calling it “birthday cake sandwich.” This surely is an answer to a request nobody made — except, perhaps, high-ups in the corporate head office, greedy for a little more income and hoping the M&S effect can be repeated. Bizarrely, it is more expensive than the real fruit sarnie, by 20p.