Tales from the Crypt fans aren’t accustomed to seeing a lot of shocking twists and turns in this iconic anthology series. Just the opposite, a good number of endings can be seen coming a mile away. At the same time, though, the show often delivers craft, campiness, and macabre humor.
One example is “Mournin’ Mess,” an episode that seemed hellbent on taking the guesswork out of the whole mystery. Indeed, surprising you isn’t the top priority here, but your total awareness shouldn’t be a dealbreaker. And “Mournin’ Mess” ranks high when highlighting the meanest stories Crypt has to offer.
”I hope you like shish kebab… Damn, it isn’t ready yet; Bob’s still moving!”
Considering how the Cryptkeeper is dressed as a chef, a copy of “Betty Croaker Cook Book” is put on display, and the host’s lead-in is chock-full of gastro-horror puns, “Mournin’ Mess” doesn’t hide the fact that it’s about eating people. Admittedly, this isn’t the most novel idea from Tales from the Crypt, however, the execution here is immense. And the hapless mortal on the menu is played by Steven Weber. Wings watchers may not initially see a difference between Weber’s irksome character in “Mournin’ Mess,” a womanizing smartass named Dale Sweeney, and his role of Brian Hackett, but the former is a far cry from that irresponsible yet lovable flyboy from Nantucket Island.
Protagonist Dale is hard to like from the get-go, seeing as he rolls out of bed and kicks out his latest fling without even an ounce of remorse for his callous behavior. His affection from the previous night was, according to him, just the Jack Daniels talking. Yet, if not for the next scene, Dale’s foulness in this episode would be constant; he shows some sliver of decency as he asks the correct questions at the the opening of the Grateful Homeless Cemetery, a graveyard where the decedents are given an “eternity of dignity” after experiencing “a lifetime of pain.”
Dale, with his news reporter hat on, inquires why the cemetery’s benefactors, the Grateful Homeless, Outcasts, and Unwanteds Layaway Society, are only helping homeless people in death, not in life. It’s a fair point that only puts a target on Dale’s back.
Image: In EC Comics’ “Mournin’ Mess”, the Tales from the Crypt story “Midnight Mess!” is referenced as inspiration for the G.H.O.U.L.S.’ scheme.
An unquenchable sense of curiosity isn’t the only thing that sets Dale on his path to ruin. The story’s outset showed a homeless man named Robert, played by character actor Vincent Schiavelli, narrowly escaping the same grisly fate as his pal (Stack Pierce). There in a dark and squalid alley, and in a matter of seconds, Robert’s friend was done in by the Homeless Killer. Director-writer Manny Coto (Dr. Giggles) didn’t show the murder on screen, but the aftermath—spare parts left behind for Schiavelli’s character to find—conveniently ties into Dale’s own investigation of the Grateful Homeless, Outcasts, and Unwanteds Layaway Society, or the Grateful Homeless Society for short.
In this episode’s basis, a 1953 Witch’s Cauldron story from EC Comics, there is no serial murderer preying on people living on the streets. At least not one who’s been named and sensationalized by the media. No, the moniker of “Homeless Killer” is an invention of the TV adaptation, presumably in an effort to pad out the source material as well as throw viewers off the scent. The attempt, while appreciated, was done in vain. And that’s chiefly because the real killer’s identity is all but announced before the first act is over.
The audience is simply one abbreviation away from figuring out the Grateful Homeless, Outcasts, and Unwanteds Layaway Society’s ulterior motive. And the fact that no one in the story picks up on their acronym spelling “G.H.O.U.L.S.”, especially a reporter such as Dale, is the central conceit of “Mournin’ Mess.” At the same time, and for this episode to go as planned, there can be no awareness, apart from that of everyone watching. You are simply bracing for impact until then.
Image: The G.H.O.U.L.S. have unmasked themselves in “Mournin’ Mess”.
Like Weber’s portrayal, the comic version of Mr. Sweeney is a journalist looking into the Grateful Homeless Society—in keeping up with the times, “Hoboes” became “Homeless” in the TV take—but there’s virtually nothing else to know about him. His fatal search for answers takes precedence over him having a discernible personality and character development. That was just how EC stories operated. Manny Coto, on the other hand, cooked up an interpretation of Dale Sweeney that not only feels tangible, but he’s also a better victim for the Grateful Homeless Society than his comic counterpart.
Right from the start, we see that Dale is struggling to survive. His power was cut off, he’s been recently fired from his job, and he’s clearly an alcoholic. So Dale himself is moments away from being thrown out on the street. That growing sense of instability then makes him a perfect mark for G.H.O.U.L.S., whose M.O. is preying on the displaced under the disguise of charity. In the end, though, laughing at Dale’s ultimate fate, which is both on the nose and brutal, doesn’t come as naturally as it should. Was Weber’s character loathsome? Sure, and Weber himself is excellent here, but what Dale receives in the end still doesn’t exactly read as just deserts.
Viewers may not be heartbroken over Dale Sweeney, but what’s certainly sad is how relevant “Mournin’ Mess” is, no matter when it’s watched. From the growing shortage of “beacons in the night,” to putting new names on old issues rather than actually solving them, this episode is timeless. Your clocking Rita Wilson’s character and her ilk as the bad guys so early on, particularly because “Mournin’ Mess” spoon-feeds the clues, could pose a challenge, if you require horror to always be clever and mysterious.
However, maybe the obviousness of G.H.O.U.L.S. is really a deliberate statement about evils in plain sight. That feels on brand when remembering how neither EC Comics nor Tales from the Crypt dealt in subtlety. Their being straightforward is yet another reason why they remain so popular all these years later.
Image: Mike Vosburg’s artwork for “Mournin’ Mess”.