Navigating a relationship with a significant age gap can bring its own set of challenges, ranging from societal judgment to internal insecurities.
Former Roadies judge Raghu Ram has candidly shared his experience of overcoming these hurdles in his marriage to Italian-Canadian singer Natalie Di Luccio, who is 14 years younger.
Reflecting on his initial doubts about their relationship, Raghu, appearing on ‘Couple of Things’ show, said, “Upon learning that she’s 26 (in the mid-2010s), I could sense glasses breaking behind me in the background. In my head, I could hear a voice saying, ‘Raghu, what are you doing here? Nikal yahaan se! Paagal hogaya? Bachchi hai (Get out! Are you crazy? She’s a child).’ My heart exploded.”
Their love story wasn’t without its complexities. Both were recovering from personal struggles when they connected — Raghu following his divorce with actor Sugandha Garg and Natalie after a breakup. Despite their differences, they chose to pursue a relationship, addressing concerns about age, compatibility, and life goals. “I felt that she’s crazy, doesn’t know anything about life and has just come to India. I asked myself, ‘Raghu, you are smart. Will you take advantage of her innocence?’” he shared, highlighting the internal conflict he faced while deciding to move forward with Natalie.
“In Roadies, they say, I can recognise and understand a person just by looking at them. This is a misunderstanding people have about me. I couldn’t understand her (Natalie) at all. I was wondering why she was in India and why she was talking to me. I asked her if she had daddy issues. I have met her parents, and she has no daddy issues. They are loving and amazing. My age would be a plus for her, her age was a complete deal breaker for me,” he concluded.
What are some common challenges faced by couples with a significant age gap?
Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, “Couples with significant age gaps often face unique challenges stemming from differences in life experiences, maturity levels, and priorities. Disparities in perspectives on social norms, technology, or culture can lead to misunderstandings. Additionally, while the older partner may be more settled in their career, the younger partner might still be navigating personal and professional growth. Differences in emotional maturity can influence how affection is expressed, and conflicts are resolved, further shaping the dynamics of the relationship.”
In age-gap relationships, Khangarot states that power imbalances can arise when one partner’s financial stability, career stage, or life experience overshadows the other’s autonomy. (Source: Freepik)
How does societal perception of age-gap relationships impact the dynamics between partners?
Age gap relationships often attract unsolicited judgments or stereotypes, Khangarot informs, such as assumptions about power dynamics or financial motives. Societal scrutiny can lead to stress, self-doubt, or feeling of isolation for both partners.
Strategies to build resilience, according to her, are:
– Unified Front: Present a strong, united stance when dealing with external criticism. Let your bond speak for itself.
– Selective Disclosure: Share details about your relationship only with those who are supportive.
– Self- Validation: Build confidence by focusing on the love and compatibility within the relationship, rather than external opinions.
Role of self-awareness play in navigating potential power imbalances in age-gap relationships
Khangarot states that power imbalances can arise in age-gap relationships when one partner’s financial stability, career stage, or life experience overshadows the other’s autonomy. “To maintain equality, the older partner must remain mindful of their influence. Cultivating self-awareness is key and can be achieved through regular reflection on decision-making dynamics to ensure both voices are equally valued, and by empowering the younger partner to make independent choices and pursue their own goals,” she recommends.