Abhishek Bachchan recently spoke about imbibing valuable life lessons from his parents, Amitabh and Jaya Bachchan, while also learning about the younger generation from his daughter, Aaradhya. In a conversation with CNBC-TV18, he emphasised that parents should lead and teach by example.
“Whatever I have learnt from my parents is through observing the way they conduct themselves. My dad is 82 and still shooting Kaun Banega Crorepati since seven in the morning. He is leading by example—I want to be like that. When I go to bed, I think that even when I am 82, I want my daughter to be able to say that about me—that he is still at it,” Abhishek said.
Indianexpress.com spoke to an expert to understand the benefits of this parenting style –– where parents lead by example –– and its psychological impact on children.
Muskan Marwah, psychologist at Mpower, Aditya Birla Education Trust, explained that children are naturally observant and learn by watching the behaviours of the adults around them, especially their parents. “While verbal guidance is important, children tend to absorb more from actions than words. Parents who model positive behaviours, such as kindness, honesty, and perseverance, have a lasting impact on their child’s character. These actions help children understand expectations and internalise these values as part of their own identity,” she said.
Marwah linked this concept to Albert Bandura’s theory of observational learning, which suggests that children learn not only from actions but also from emotional responses and attitudes they observe. Parents shape their child’s emotional and moral development simply by how they live each day. By demonstrating patience, respect, and responsibility, parents provide a living example of these values.
“When parents model the values they want to instil, these values carry emotional weight. For instance, when a parent remains calm in stressful situations, children learn to manage their own emotions. Conversely, if a parent reacts with anger, children may adopt a similar approach to adversity. This shows that children absorb not just what parents do, but how they do it,” she said.
Character traits such as empathy, resilience, and generosity are often taught not through words but through actions. Since children observe rather than just listen, these behaviours become ingrained in their character.
Children’s emotional development is also shaped by how parents respond to various situations, and consistency is crucial in this process. “When parents’ actions contradict their words, it can confuse children and undermine the values they are trying to instill. Consistency in behavior ensures that children receive a clear and predictable understanding of how to act in different situations,” said Marwah.
This modeling process also fosters intrinsic motivation in children. The internalisation of values also affects how children interact socially. “When parents’ actions align with their words, it builds trust and respect, creating a secure environment for children to thrive. Children feel safe and confident when they trust the example set by their parents,” she said.
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