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The potty training age is creeping up alarmingly, warn scientists – who are trying to find ways to reduce the 300,000 nappies sent to landfills globally every minute.
Researchers at University College London (UCL) are asking parents from across the world to share their potty training experiences and techniques as part of The Big Toilet Project, to hopefully figure out a way to reverse the trend.
“I understand this is a sensitive and difficult issue for many families,” said Professor Mark Miodownik, who is heading the project. “I found toilet training my kids very difficult. We are doing this research because there is a potential win-win situation here. Finding effective and safe ways to toilet-train children earlier helps the child, helps the parents, reduces costs to the family, and reduces plastic waste.”
I can tell his team point blank: I potty-trained my kids in three days – it’s not that hard. I read Gina Ford’s Potty Training in One Week – I got it done far quicker. My kids were out of nappies by the age of around two. One of the main takeaways is to dedicate a full week of staying at home to potty-train as soon as they are ready – and don’t use pull-ups.
Let children run around feral and follow them with a potty – if that means putting up with pee all over the place, who cares? Just get the job done and go out again into the world. Tick – another milestone completed and it’s helping the environment.
According to UCL’s study, however, the average toddler is potty-trained at three – about nine months later than its grandparents – and there are warnings from teachers and schools that one in four kids are starting school without being fully potty-trained.
Scientists are blaming the “too good and too cheap” nappies for the slow pace of potty training. Experts claim they are so superior in absorbency that children aren’t aware when they are even wet, meaning they don’t learn when they need the toilet. Also, now that we aren’t burdened with the dreadful chore of washing Terry towel nappies, parents aren’t motivated to potty-train as quickly.
But the scientists are making a big mistake – don’t blame the nappies, blame the parents.
I’m not wishing to potty shame, but, really – what’s the big deal? A key culprit is the child-led approach to parenting – or “gentle parenting” – in which you can’t possibly force your child to use a potty.
Instead, parents introduce it in a namby-pamby way, like you might a bowl of peas, as something they might be interested in – or might not be. No pressure at all! The view is, if it takes five years, then respect the children’s comfort zone. But the emphasis on pandering to a child’s rhythm with something like potty training means that it could literally take years to accomplish.
I’ve heard potty training horror stories – and seen them too. I’ve seen kids of tiger mums so stressed out from potty training, they have developed phobias. One mum in Kew Gardens pulled out a mini potty-style loo with a fake flush and loo roll holder. Others, like comedian Katherine Ryan, potty-trained her three kids almost from birth “as soon as they can listen to a story”. They were out of nappies by the age of one and crawling to the toilet. Good for her – at least some parents have got the right idea.
It’s potty to send your child to their first day of school in absorbent pull-ups – and expect teachers to potty-train them. Teachers have better things to do than pick up the pieces from lazy (or fashionable) parenting trends.
My advice to the scientists is: Don’t bother getting parents to complete a five-minute survey – or record monthly progress in a toilet training diary. Just tell parents to potty-train children as soon as they hit 18 months to two years – or earlier if kids are ready – and prepare to stay at home for a week. It’s really that simple.