A woman has been supported by Reddit users after her in-laws demanded she rearrange the twin beds in her spare room to accommodate a double bed.
Redditor u/background-note-4742, a 24-year-old social worker, shared her dilemma in a post on the subreddit “AITAH [Am I The A*****],” where it received 23,000 upvotes.
The spare room, furnished with twin beds that include pull-out options, is designed to host foster children during emergency placements. However, her in-laws, who were staying with them after losing their home and jobs for a two-month duration, wanted the beds removed to make room for a queen air mattress.
“Earlier this year my husband’s brother and his wife were temporarily homeless. They lost their jobs, and couldn’t renew their lease,” she explained. “They had to scramble to find new jobs and a place to live. We let them stay with us for two months. I didn’t really want to, but it was the right thing to do.”
Her in-laws were unhappy with the sleeping arrangement. “They were very p***** about the two twin beds thing. Because of the way the bed frames are, you cannot push the beds together,” the OP wrote, adding that they wanted the beds removed entirely. The OP refused, citing the room’s purpose of hosting children in unstable situations.
“I would rather house kids in unstable situations than my ungrateful in-laws,” she said, explaining that her state’s foster care system is one of the worst in the country.
Her husband, also 24, supported her stance, telling his brother and sister-in-law to “get a hotel if they don’t like it,” and warning them that further complaints would result in them having to leave.
“AITAH Reddit? There’s like a dozen people who think we’re assholes so I’d like some judgement,” the OP asked.
Expert Insight
Rachel Marmor, a licensed mental health counselor and the chief wellness officer at the PAIRS Foundation, believes the OP’s decision was justified.
She told Newsweek: “Prioritizing the needs of vulnerable children over the temporary discomfort of in-laws reflects a commitment to their core principles.
“Additionally, the logistics of removing and storing the twin beds, only to replace them with a queen air mattress for a short-term stay, would have been unnecessarily burdensome.”
FamVeld/iStock / Getty Images Plus
She explained while the in-laws’ frustration is understandable, their request lacked consideration for the OP’s circumstances and priorities.
“The in-laws’ frustration likely stemmed from feelings of displacement and embarrassment,” said Marmor.
Sleeping in “kids’ beds” may have been perceived as undignified, but their public complaints crossed a boundary.
By refusing to accommodate their demands, the OP upheld healthy boundaries, which are crucial in caregiving roles to avoid burnout.
Reddit Reacts
Redditors rallied behind the OP, slamming the in-laws’ sense of entitlement.
“They have a lot of demands for people who get free housing. Don’t let them come back,” one user commented.
“Those kids sound like they need a place to stay a lot more than those spoiled in-laws. If anyone takes their side, tell them to house those two,” said another.
“Big fan of your husband. Sounds like a solid dude. NTA in the slightest,” added a third.
The consensus was clear: the OP’s actions reflected compassion, responsibility, and healthy boundaries, making her “not the a*****” in this situation
Newsweek reached out to u/background-note-4742 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
Newsweek’s “What Should I Do?” offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek.