We all spend time interacting with screens. But how can we bring our screentime and digital tasks into balance with the rest of our lives?
This was the topic of a recent presentation by digital wellness expert Amy Blankson to an audience of the GPS Parent Series, a collection of free, public talks that support parenting and youth development. Naperville School District 203 and Indian Prairie School District 204 are among a long list of school partners that support the parent series.
Leaning on research from the Digital Wellness Institute, which she leads with the title of cofounder and chief evangelist, Blankson offered advice for parents to help their children thrive in the future.
Teaching digital literacy, setting up paths to increased tech privileges and modeling positive screen-related behavior can all help with what Blankson said is a key question parents face: “How do you develop the self-confidence to exist in a world where we know that digital devices are going to be important?”
Here are Blankson’s top three tips for raising digitally wise kids.
It’s not all about limits — teach digital literacy, too
Instead of focusing solely on how much time young people spend in front of screens, Blankson suggested placing more importance on “how the technology is being used.” A time-only emphasis leads some families to swing between opposites, from total tech addiction to a complete detox. A healthier balance lies in the middle, she says, in a state called “digital flourishing.”
“I define digital flourishing as that sweet spot where you are in control of your technology — not the other way around,” Blankson said.
The Digital Wellness Institute offers a 5-minute survey to help people gauge their progress toward digital flourishing and assess their habits.
Create paths to tech privileges
Blankson’s second tip is a bit of parenting advice. Instead of simply saying “no” to a question such as, “Can I have a smartphone?” parents can spell out a clear way by which kids can earn new devices and more tech-related privileges.
“What we’re finding to be a very effective strategy for parents is beginning to say, ‘Here’s how you can prove to me that you can handle the responsibility,’” Blankson said.
Parents also can prepare their child for a new device by setting up rules and consequences before giving it, and by earning “social capital” so children are more likely to listen. This can come from making sure kids’ emotional needs are met and from playing together — especially playing their favorite computer or video or online games, Blankson said.
Modeling matters when it comes to tech
The biggest predictor of kids’ technology-related behaviors is what they see from their parents, Blankson said. This may seem “so obvious,” she said, but parents often fail to notice that children really do mimic their actions.
Blankson cited research that found 77% of parents think their kids are too dependent on online devices. But 40% of kids think their parents are overly dependent on these devices, too.
So parents can learn to view their own tech use as teachable moments, Blankson said. This means parents may want to keep their phones away from the dinner table, turn off notifications to focus on family time or check in on other habits to make sure they are worthy of imitation.
“It is a really hard strategy,” Blankson admits. But “if we’re making rules for our kids that we can’t stick with ourselves, it might be worth revisiting why that is.”
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